Trinity 22 – The Burden of Unforgiveness

by Fr Jean Celestin Ngoma

Philippians 1:3-11       St Matthew 18:21-end

“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?

As we approach the final Sundays of the Trinity season, our mother Church reminds us of an existing vital channel of divine healing and sanctifying grace: Forgiveness!

We judge a chain of mountains by its highest peak (Fr Garrigou-Lagrange); and right now, we are on the verge of reaching that summit. Forgiveness is one of the measurements of the degree of our union with God. It is one of those great acts of self-sacrifice during this highest peak of the Christian life that can be instrumental in experiencing God’s healing in our daily lives.

One such avenue of divine healing and grace, in this high moment of grace, is the sacrament of confession. Considered as a "non-must" in the Anglican tradition, this sacrament, thanks to the outpouring of the Holy Spirit even within our persecuted Church, can be a powerful means for those whose consciences remain troubled, helping them seek internal peace, harmony, wholeness (shalom), and both physical and spiritual well-being.

The Epistle takes us to moments we felt insecure, wounded, and imprisoned, driving us to find new joy, peace, and restoration. We recall the historical context in which Saint Paul wrote this Epistle; he was imprisoned, awaiting his sentence in Rome.

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We, as mature Christians, are the primary recipients of today’s Gospel. We embody the description that Saint Paul offers in verse 5:

"because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now."

But does verse 6, talking about the existing good works that Jesus has begun in us and their completion, echo our preparation for mystical union, the passive purification in the Spirit?

This is the good news, no matter Faith’s degree and the age that one finds oneself.  And this message may seem daunting, but it can also explain the serious tone of the story in today’s Gospel: the outpouring of divine mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have wronged us (cf. CCC 2840). Or simply put “No forgiveness to the unforgiving”(Origen).  Perfect adulthood or maturity in faith becomes self-evident in our lives when we can forgive.

Unforgiveness is indeed a yoke in our hearts that requires Jesus' healing.  For some, this Sunday may offer an opportunity to meet Jesus, the divine therapist, so that He may allow them to regain internal peace and harmony, as well as a sense of wholeness.

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There is a clear pattern in Jesus's healing stories throughout the Bible.

The first step in this healing ministry is His proactive attitude. It is Jesus himself who reaches out to those who need to hear His healing words of salvation, the divine messages of the Kingdom of His Father. To paraphrase Saint Ambrose of Milan: when the weight of your sins and their impurities, along with your unforgiveness and bitterness, have hardened your heart, remember that no matter how great your sins may be and despite the dryness of your spirit, Jesus seeks you as a friend. “He knows that sin has intoxicated your heart, distorted your emotions, and made you lose the balance of your mind”. (St Ambrose of Milan)

The second step or attitude in Jesus' healing ministry is His non-judgmental gaze. Generally, Jesus looks at those in need of healing without stereotypes or preconceived ideas. Saint Peter is one such person who needed healing from his understanding of or his image of God.

Was he caught in a mindset of a God who counts our sins and punishes us accordingly, a God whose love and forgiveness are limited by human and religious laws, an image he inherited from his Israelite culture?  Jesus responded to him without rebuking or judging.

The third step in Jesus' healing process is His empathetic response. Jesus speaks to Peter in an empathetic manner. Jesus does not view Himself as superior to Peter; He does not lecture him but treats him seriously. When we forgive, we do not elevate ourselves above the person we forgive. Forgiveness does not humiliate or admonish.

Jesus did not condemn the idea of forgiving seven times; rather, He encouraged Saint Peter to do more. Jesus appealed to what Peter already knew, the existing number 7; to what Saint Peter was already experiencing in his mind and heart, and invited him to go further.

Just as Saint Paul appealed to the matured Philippian Christians to take advantage of the existing progress they have made in their spiritual life; to continue to make full use of the channels of divine healing and sanctifying grace that the good Lord has put in their souls, namely thanksgiving, prayer, unity of minds and hearts, and then needless to mention: Delectare in Domino, Rejoice, Rejoice ye": Rejoice in the Lord always, the message that permeates throughout Saint Paul’s epistles.

The fourth and final step in Jesus's healing therapy is the restoration phase. Jesus restored the woman who was crippled on the Sabbath day in the Gospel of Saint Luke, chapter 13. He laid His hand on her, empowering her to reconnect with herself, her strength, and her dignity, echoing what God had already accomplished in our souls, the existing seeds of his sanctifying grace. This woman had been trapped within herself and was unable to stand upright on her own. Similarly, we can feel trapped or bound by anger and unforgiveness due to repressed emotions that lead to anxiety and resentment.

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In one of his profound statements, Martin Luther said that forgiveness is a command from God. It is indeed a moral obligation for believers on their healing journey.

In this process of spiritual healing, we are not the primary forgivers; the great King is the true forgiver, as depicted parable. We are invited to align ourselves with the one who is forgiven. Peter questioned how many times he should forgive, suggesting that the act of forgiveness depends solely on him rather than on the great king. But how many times has God forgiven Peter, and how often would he want to be forgiven by God? Is it only seven times?

In the Lord's Prayer, there is an idea of sameness or equality: “forgive us our debts,  as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Mt 6:12)  The Greek relative pronoun (or adverb) ος (hos), meaning "that, who, which" denotes the idea of sameness, in the same manner, to depict the twofold healing we receive from the Lord.  Vertically, we receive healing of mind and body from God Himself, and horizontally, we are blessed, restored, and healed by practising forgiveness in our lives. We are called to forgive in the same way that God has forgiven us.

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The disciples of Jesus, like many of us, are not always able to grasp God’s healing plan for us and His hidden medicine for our souls.

After the transfiguration of our Lord in Matthew 17, the disciples were beginning to mature in their faith.  To our great surprise, shortly after, in the same chapter, they asked Jesus who among them was the greatest. The disciples needed to be healed from their false images of holiness and righteousness.

In response to Peter and his comrades, Jesus emphasised the importance of having a childlike and forgiving heart.  To experience peace and reduce unrest, we are called to forgive like children, who do not hold grudges. Embracing this attitude allows us to access the divine healing and grace that comes through forgiveness.

I do believe that unhappiness in our society partly exists because the key to experiencing peace, reduced unrest, a life healed from anxiety and meaninglessness, remains a hidden treasure.  Unrest is increasingly invading human hearts.  People may turn to social media influencers, self-help books or mindfulness exercises in search of healing and peace.

But what if the solution lies not in external stimuli or influences, but in the Christian concept of metanoia, experiencing the sacrament of forgiveness of the Lord Jesus, both as a society and as individuals?

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Our journey toward the highest peak of our spiritual life, our union with Christ, involves recognising moments of hurt and deciding to forgive, which ultimately may bring us peace and serenity.  It may also lead us to reflect on moments when we ask ourselves whether we should forgive or seek justice; moments we found it hard to forgive.  May the good Lord help us to always remember that our peace and brotherly agreement is the greater sacrifice to God (St Cyprian of Carthage).

Fr Garrigou-Lagrange, a Dominican priest and author of The Three Ages of the Interior Life, beautifully describes the attitude of self-sacrifice and forgiveness in reaching the highest stage of our union with God.  His story of a Jewish man he personally knew and who had to decide to forgive a family enemy or take him to court, brings forth the transformative power of forgiveness.

He wrote and I quote:

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” He said to himself, “How would it be if, instead of carrying on this lawsuit, I would pardon him?” He followed the inspiration, forgave completely, renounced the lawsuit. At that same moment, he received the full gift of faith. This one word of the Our Father became his pathway up the mountain of life. He became a priest, a Dominican, and died at the age of fifty years. Though nothing particularly important appeared in the remainder of his life, his soul remained at the height where it had been elevated at the moment of his conversion.  Step by step, he mounted to the eternal youth which is the life of heaven.

I believe  this is what he coins as the perfect adulthood, where a Christian achieves a deep and intimate union with God,  with more intense manifestation of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and infused contemplative prayer.  He continues saying:

“The moral runs thus: One great act of self-sacrifice may decide not only our whole spiritual life on earth but also our eternity.

May God bless us today as we participate in this Eucharistic celebration, the source and summit of our divine and intimate union with Jesus, the highest channel of divine forgiveness and healing.

Amen +